With the weather getting colder, I think about stuff more. I don't know, it just happens. Usually during the summer, everyone's so caught up on having a good time and living carpe diem, there's no time to think about the future. Now, I'm forced to think about my future; college application deadlines are fast approaching. Neither spending hours and hours on CFNC nor talking to my guidance counselor at school has helped me figure out what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. I see people around me already getting accepted into schools and getting scholarship money, and I just get depressed. I know I'm going to college somewhere, but I just don't know what I'm going to study or how I'm going to get there. The lack of prayer probably plays a big role in my uncertainty. Why can't a lightbulb just come on?
On top of the college stress, senioritis is already kicking in. I'm taking 2 AP classes this semester: English 12 and Calculus. Yearbook II and Spanish II fill the other 3 hours of my school day. I'm the editor of the yearbook this year, so that just makes it even more stressful. Talk about a tough semester. I wish I could just fast-forward to second semester; then I'll have easier classes and all the college stuff done. But then again, I don't want to miss these last few months of high school. I want to appreciate them and take advantage of all the time I can get with my friends before I have to leave them next fall, you know?
More and more, I'm beginning to see people I love and care about go down the wrong path. At church, they'll put on their Christian t-shirt and claim to follow the ways of the Creator. They look and act like a real Christian during the worship. They'll play the part quite well. Once they're out in the real world, though, things change. They begin to compromise their morals; after a certain point, their standards will be out the window. They say, "I can control what I'm doing, so I know when to stop," or "It's good to experience these types of things just to see what it's like." Too bad that's what they thought a few months ago, when they started this whole mess. When a person gets a certain distance away from the straight and narrow path of righteousness, they see no point in trying to get back on the right track. "We've gone this far, so what's it gonna hurt if we go a little farther?" Look: if you're going to conform to the world's standards and break the rules of morality, don't say you're a Christian. You give those of us who actually want to pursue God's Will for our lives a bad name. If I could get rid of one thing in the world, it would be the hypocritical attitudes of people who claim to be "followers of Christ." Give up trying to lead a two-way life; quit riding the fence. Save yourself--and the rest of us--some trouble and pick one. But remember: whichever you choose, God's judgement awaits you.
I just needed to get this out.